Just what is mentoring? How do you structure a mentoring conversation?
There are many misconceptions about mentoring. Often people think that all is required is to have experience and a passion to share. Unfortunately, this can lead to people thinking they are mentoring, when actually they are either telling others what to do (instructing) or passing on skills (teaching).
Mentoring as a process puts the mentee at the very centre of the work – the mentee sets the agenda and takes ownership of the agreed outcomes. To do this, the mentor makes informed decisions about the approach they will take and whether they even need to share their own experience if the mentee does not need it.
A Mentor’s work can be defined through these key attributes:
· Focussed on the individual;
· Works to understand their internal barriers;
· Coaches and mentors them to achieve to their best potential;
· Helps them to overcome barriers;
· Helps them to make progress;
· Helps them to set and achieve their goals.
Who can mentor at school?
Mentoring has been shown to help develop individuals within all kinds of organisations at all levels. Mentoring increases employee motivation, performance and retention rates. Leaders have found mentoring to be a useful tool when embedding new ideas and changes within an organisation. Mentoring also has benefits for the leaders themselves, preparing new leaders for the complexity and variety of challenges they will face.
In short, anyone who would benefit from personal development can become a mentee and anyone who already has that knowledge or skillset can mentor.
How is mentoring different from coaching?
Mentoring utilises the experiences of the Mentor to transfer applicable knowledge and skills to the mentee. n\while providing encouragement, advice and reassurance.
Coaching do not necessarily rely on the coach having experienced the journey the person receiving coaching is on.Coaching is based on a belief that the person being coached holds the answers within them, and the coach is using support to help the person being coached to discover the answers themselves.
There are two main types of mentoring:
- Technical mentoring – the process of supporting someone to learn the skills for the task they are going to perform (for example, how to do their job).
- Pastoral mentoring – the process of providing the ‘whole-picture’ holistic support that a mentee needs.
A mentoring session will often focus on whatever the issue or barrier the mentee is experiencing at that time.
The Mentor’s Mantra
When helping someone to achieve success, much of the work is done by facilitating thought and conversation about a particular block (for example their finances or difficulties with a relationship).
You are safe
To begin addressing a block you need to feel safe, so when working with anyone it is important to develop a sense of security and trust in your relationship. How you give feedback: To begin addressing a problem you need to feel safe, so when working with anyone it is important to develop a sense of security and trust in your relationship. Reassure them and tell them what the problem is at the start, explain that you are here to help.
It’s alright to think
Be emotionally literate and help them to identify the emotions they are feeling, the problems they are experiencing and work out how to describe the block they are facing. Let the silence grow, do not interrupt it, let them work out what they are thinking and put their thoughts in order. How you give feedback: Use silence to give them time to reflect on the problem. Reassure them that they can have as much time as they need.
It’s alright to talk
By acknowledging the block, they are experiencing and giving them the space to be open to it you will begin to facilitate the problem solving steps. Acknowledge the thoughts, reassure the individual and encourage them to keep talking. How you give feedback: When the time is right the individual will begin to talk about the problem. By acknowledging it and giving them the space to be open to it you will begin to facilitate the problem solving steps. Acknowledge the emotions they are experiencing.
Let’s make a plan.
Here you may share any relevant experience, but do not tell the mentee what to do. Share your experience or advice, before moving on to helping them to develop their action plan. Whilst you may suggest, it is for your mentee to finalise and action the steps. How you give feedback: As an adviser, you can now help them to experiment with different solutions to the issue. Share with them some ideas and come up with a plan to resolve the issue. Put in place ongoing support to monitor and also guide their next steps towards addressing the problem.
This is by no means an exhaustive breakdown of how to mentor or what mentoring means but it should give you a good overview of what’s required.
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To discover more and deepen your understanding you can visit our sister organisation The Mentoring School here: https://thementoringschool.com/ they offer an Introduction Course here: https://thementoringschool.com/course/introduction-to-mentoring/ and free courses here: https://thementoringschool.com/free-courses/
References/Further Reading:
Eby, Lillian T., and Melissa M. Robertson. “The psychology of workplace mentoring relationships.” Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior 7.1 (2020): 75-100.
Scandura, Terri A., and Ekin K. Pellegrini. “Workplace mentoring: Theoretical approaches and methodological issues.” The Blackwell handbook of mentoring: A multiple perspectives approach (2007): 71-91.
Ramaswami, Aarti, and George F. Dreher. “The benefits associated with workplace mentoring relationships.” The Blackwell handbook of mentoring: A multiple perspectives approach (2007): 211-231.
Billett, Stephen. “Workplace mentors: Demands and benefits.” Journal of workplace learning 15.3 (2003): 105-113.
Fletcher, Sarah. Mentoring in schools: A handbook of good practice. Routledge, 2012.
Resta, Virginia, Leslie Huling, and Pat Yeargain. “Teacher insights about teaching, mentoring, and schools as workplaces.” Curriculum and Teaching Dialogue 15.1 (2013): 117-132.
Yirci, Ramazan, and Ibrahim Kocabas. “The importance of mentoring for school principals: A conceptual analysis.” International Journal of educational leadership Preparation 5.2 (2010): 1-7.
Hansford, Brian, and Lisa C. Ehrich. “The principalship: how significant is mentoring?.” Journal of educational administration 44.1 (2006): 36-52.